This old man has the moves. He is graceful like a tiger that just ate a ballerina. Watch the way he shakes DAT THANG. He frequents the local concerts in the park here, and dances the whole time. Think about it, you lazy young punks. This geezer probably buys his Ecstasy from the same guy that you do, but I don't see you going one fourth as crazy on the dance floor as he does. I have also heard (from reliable sources) that this man used to enjoy wearing shorts that were quite scandalously revealing, a fact that I am sure will bring you the sweetest of magical summertime dreams as you are lulled soothingly to sleep by his gyrating motions*. And did you see that roof being raised, that butter being churned? That's what our senior citizens were doing back when you were their age, and now you are just sitting on your ass and dicking around on the internet and listening to the MTV Videogames. From the same reliable source I gleaned the previous information from, I can tell you that during slow songs he rubs his hands all over his body, as if he was siphoning pure sexy grease from the air onto his hands and then trying to rub it in to his skin so that it can be absorbed into his pores.
At the end of the show, the old man stopped dancing, as even he is not enough of a wild rogue to dance without music. I felt alone inside, as I thought I wouldn't be seeing him again. Later that evening, however, I saw him on his bike, pure poetry in motion with a newsboy cap. I thought about yelling something about how his motions were smooth, sublime and beautiful like unicorn diarrhea, but I decided that his art was best left unspoken, like a prayer.
*Which, by the way, will be forever burned into your skull after watching this video.
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